This has been a super emotional day for me. It started out with good emotional ness. I had a beautiful experience that helped me get more excited for my mission and helped me feel Heavenly Father's love for me. I cried. That is somewhat unusual because I haven't been much of a crier lately.
Then after that I sent a stupid text and got all annoyed at myself and the person I sent it to because I just imagined what he must have been thinking (wasn't great in my imagination-who knows what he was really thinking) and when I think that he is thinking that I'm a retard I feel dumb and then I get mad at him for thinking that I'm a retard and then I'm just annoyed. I'm really trying to keep in mind that I have no idea what he is actually thinking in these situations. This has always been a bad habit of mine.
Then I watched the district. And again I felt a humbling, while still exciting, feeling about being a missionary. Then I started stressing.
Then I went to choir. And it was good except that boys are ridiculous sometimes and think it's hilarious when I blush and so they purposefully make me blush. And today it kind of hit a sensitive spot. And it kind of hurt a tad. And it mostly just made me more stressed. Afterwards one of them (who is super cute I might add) came up to apologize to me and he was really sweet about it and you know when people talk to you like that when you're already on the verge of tears? Yeah. Thankfully I held them in until we sang the first hymn.
The Lord is My Light. It was beautiful.
1. The Lord is my light; then why should I fear?
By day and by night his presence is near.
He is my salvation from sorrow and sin;
This blessed assurance the Spirit doth bring.
[Chorus]
The Lord is my light;
He is my joy and my song.
By day and by night he leads,
He leads me along.
2. The Lord is my light; tho clouds may arise,
Faith, stronger than sight, looks up thru the skies
Where Jesus forever in glory doth reign.
Then how can I ever in darkness remain?
Especially this next verse...
3. The Lord is my light; the Lord is my strength.
I know in his might I'll conquer at length.
My weakness in mercy he covers with pow'r,
And, walking by faith, I am blest ev'ry hour.
4. The Lord is my light, my all and in all.
There is in his sight no darkness at all.
He is my Redeemer, my Savior, and King.
With Saints and with angels his praises I'll sing.
And I could barely make it through the chorus each time. What a beautiful comfort. He will cover my weaknesses with power if I turn to Him.
I was frustrated during every meeting because, while I was really trying to feel the Spirit and learn from the speakers and teachers, I kept having slightly critical thoughts go through my head. And then I felt guilty. Because that's not okay. Which then just makes things worse.
But I just need to repent and try harder tomorrow. Darn Satan. You aren't winning this one...
Goodnight!
p.s. I made a skirt on Friday. I'll put a picture up sometime. Oh. And I found my camera again. Glorious.
I kind of feel like this song today...