However, it didn't match my hopes for it being less passionate/sensual/waybeyondsuggestive than the movie was. In fact, it was pretty much the same except the costumes were modest. And that really troubled me.
I went with a good friend of mine and afterwards we talked a little about it. I was disappointed that he seemed fully satisfied-very pleased even-with the play. For some reason it kind of hurts me every time someone I really respect likes something that I don't feel is completely good. This brought up this never ending debate that I have with myself about media, about art.
My whole life I have held myself to a standard in the music I listen to, the books I read, and the movies I watch that basically no one else agrees with. Probably only my mother and maybe my sister Sarah. And probably Rachel. It's been kind of a sore point for a very long time, something I was always extremely conscious of and frustrated about. Why is it okay for all these people, who I respect to various degrees and some who I respect an enormous amount, to watch/listen to/read these things that I feel are inappropriate, that make me uncomfortable, and even occasionally make me sick to my stomach? Am I crazy?
These standards have relaxed over the years as I have gotten older, but usually to my dismay and a small sense of guilt. Have I just become desensitized to violent or immoral things that they have now become okay?
I have tried to come up with requirements for things that I watch, very much influenced by this quote by Granville Klesier:
"Nothing touches the soul but leaves its impress,
And thus, little by little, we are fashioned into the image of all we have seen, heard, known, and meditated.
And if we learn to live with all that is the fairest and the best,
The love of it all will, in the end, become our very lives."
That quote has drastically influenced my life in so many ways beyond just media. But for media I tried to set a standard somewhere along these lines:
-Can the Holy Ghost remain when I watch/listen to/read this?
-Does this content influence me to be better?
-Do I learn important life lessons from this that I can't learn better in other ways?
This works for me in a lot of things. But it gets hard when it comes to songs that I love, or stories that I get emotionally invested in. And often I don't know if I recognize when the Spirit is present, or when it is driven away by what I do.
Often questions are brought up in conversation with others that I have a hard time answering. Questions like the following:
If it's an art form, does it have more leeway?
Is it okay to read or hear something described explicitly that is inappropriate that isn't okay to actually watch? A sex scene, for example. How many songs or books describe this quite openly, but would you ever go watch it played out in a movie? Is one worse than the other? If so, why?
Does art bring something to our lives that is worth losing a certain sensitivity? I have thought often of this as I have come to love dance. I used to be very bothered by certain types of dancing, certain movements that I felt were suggestive and inappropriate. But as I came to learn more about dance, I lost a lot of that, and viewed it more as an 'art.' But is that wrong? Is it still inappropriate and I just convinced myself it wasn't because it takes so much talent to be able to move like that?
Can you only learn some things through art forms? I have heard this argument when people are defending R rated movies. "You learn so much about life from it," they argue, "and so it's okay."
When is humor about sexuality appropriate? Is it ever? I can't tell you how many times I have walked into a room where a very well known and oft quoted and much loved TV show is playing to be shocked at the sexual innuendos and humor it contains. Does this damage my spirit? Does it dull my sensitivity to things that are godlike, that are pure and beautiful?
Are some things okay for most people, and not okay for me, because I am more sensitive to it? This one has been often pondered. I know that I am extremely affected by music, books, and movies especially. I live the parts with the characters. I get super into them and they often seem very real to me. Because of this, do I have a different standard that I must choose to live by?
If missionary standards are there to allow them to better feel and be guided by the Spirit, why aren't we all encouraged to live by those?
Should I just avoid art to be safe? Or is there beautiful art, that is pure and clean and uplifting, outside of all this junk that is what I should see out and try my hardest to avoid all the rest? Entertainment options get pretty slim when you have this picky of a media standards. But is that perfectly fine? Do I just need to be okay with it?
I'm not sure if I know the answers to all of these. But I do know that God knows. He knows perfectly. And He has given me multiple standards to judge by, I just need to ponder on them more deeply.
On stands out to me especially tonight as I have been pondering these and other questions:
"Let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly;
then shall they confidence wax strong in the presence of God...
The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion
And thy scepter and unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth."
Those are some pretty amazing promises. I have a hard time imagining myself ever feeling confident in the presence of God, but I guess this is the way to do it. Maybe it is worth it missing out on all the cool new movies that have "just one bad part," the friend nights when you just watch movies that don't leave you feeling uplifted, those new songs that have a really cool beat and tune but not the best content, and those books that are so captivating but maybe don't have a good message. Maybe it is just worth the extra effort-the lots and lots of extra effort-to find those things that are the best. Those that are still entertaining and fun, but that have nothing in them that I would be afraid to watch with God standing there looking on.
Thoughts?