Music--I am so grateful for it!

This has been another hard week. Emotionally and academically. And there is way more to come, so why am I blogging? I don't really want to study, that's why. But I'll get back to it as soon as I am done.

I have always loved music. Growing up I realized the powerful effect music had on me. It helped me in feeling and expressing emotion, it helped me cope with stressful things in my life, it helped me control my temper when I really wanted to be bratty, and it has helped me feel the Spirit more than almost anything else. It was always a comfort when I was upset or frustrated. It helped me feel better. Like one of my favorite songs says, "However I feel I Just Sing."
 
However, for the first few weeks after that dreadful Friday,  my desire to sing was completely gone. Music held no comfort for me. I couldn't sing, I couldn't play the piano or violin, and I did not want to listen to music. It was the first time that had ever happened to me. It was so hard, but I just couldn't bring myself to sing. Perhaps it was because of how much I knew Matt loved when I would sing and play, or how much he appreciated my music. Perhaps it was because I was angry for a while and I could not understand why this had happened to me. Whatever it was, it resulted in very minimal exposure to music for a long time.

Thankfully, my love for music has returned and through it I have found, again, how much it helps me express my emotions. It may not necessarily help me feel peace, but it has helped me let my emotion out--those emotions that I could not, no matter how I tried, express.

Here are some of the songs I am grateful for:

• You Raise Me Up
• When You Believe
• How Firm a Foundation 
• The Lord is My Light (I didn't find a good link in the few seconds I searched...)
• Lead Kindly Light (I also really like this version)

Something I have realized these past two days is how much I love happy endings. I love stories that, no matter what happens in between, the hero and heroine always end up getting married and living happily ever after. No matter what happens in between. That has made it so hard for me to accept that fact that things will probably never work out with this relationship. For reasons I don't understand, Heavenly Father has another plan for me. And it is so, so  hard for me to imagine that there could be any happy ending other than the one I want so badly right now. But I know that there will be. And until then, I know that I can "never, no never, no never forsake!" I don't really know what to do with my life right now in terms of relationships, school, a mission, studies abroad, etc., but I do know what I need to do until then. Basic gospel principles always apply, in ever single situation.

And now, back to studying.