Life is REAL!

"Tell me not in mournful numbers, Life is but an empty dream!

For the soul is dead that slumbers, And things are not what they seem. 

Life is real! Life is earnest! And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art, to dust returnest, Was not spoken of the soul..."

 Sometimes life seems like a dream to me. It is such a weird feeling! Today is one of those days. Things don't seem real today. Did I really almost get married? Did I really call of my wedding? Did I really live through such dreadful pain? Am I really studying at BYU in the nursing program? I don't know what triggers this feeling but it happens quite often. When I was in high school I often imagined my life like a movie. It was almost like I lived my life as if it was a movie. Thinking that way made me want to be happier, treat others better, and be the best person I could be. But it also made for some weird perspectives and weird thoughts. I would see my life--the daily things that were quite mundane (homework, driving, studying, etc.) flash by and then the movie would focus in on me learning something, having an important conversation, or doing something that showed how I was progressing. Maybe that's the way I dealt with things that were stressful? I don't really know.

Today it seems like everything I do is so fake. What really matters in life? Do social events/interactions really mean as much as we make them? I, at least, judge much of my success on how other people view me, how a party turned out, how well a conversation went, etc. But that seems so superficial, so fake! Even my relationships seem so surreal, like they don't matter much either. It almost seems like I've been given a reality check--but the other way around. I need to feel like this sometimes so I remember that what is important is what I make of myself, my character, and my relationship with my Heavenly Father. Other life events don't mean much if we are missing that.

"Not enjoyment and not sorrow Is our destined end or way;

But to act, that each tomorrow Find us farther than today...

Lives of great men all remind us We can make our lives sublime, 

And, departing, leave behind us Footprints on the sands of time;

Footprints, that perhaps another, Sailing o'er life's solemn main, 

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother, Seeing, shall take heart again.

Let us. then, be up and doing, With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing, Learn to labor and to wait." 

The Psalm of Life

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow