Suffocating

Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating. Like today. Like most of the past two months. Why is it so hard?! Why can't I feel peace and have more faith that everything will work out? Why, when I just had to make the hardest decision of my life and cause myself the most pain I've ever experienced, am I all the sudden struggling with everything else in my life? Can't they come one at a time? Oh well. I guess not. Am I doing something wrong? Am I not worthy of help right now? I'm trying my hardest, so I have to believe that that isn't the reason. Sometimes it doesn't seem like I can make it, but this scripture contradicts that fact and has meant a lot to me this past while:

 "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: 

but God is faithful, who will not suffer you 

to be tempted above that ye are able; 

but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, 

that ye may be able to bear it" (1 Cor 10: 13).

There is a way for me to escape. Who knows? It may take months, or years, or perhaps some of these things I'll have to struggle with my whole life (Oh, I hope not!) but however long it takes, I know that God is faithful, and he will help me overcome these struggles. Someday it won't be so hard to smile and be happy. I just have to keep breathing.


Edit to this most depressing post:


I just went to the Devotional. It was perfect. Exactly what I needed. And she quoted a verse that I have known for a long time, but it gave me a lot of perspective:


"If thou art called to pass through tribulation; if thou art in perils among false brethren; if thou art in perils among robbers; if thou art in perils by land or by sea...And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?"

My life is so wonderful and nothing I have experienced has been more than I can bear. The heavens have not gathered blackness against me, life is good. I have been so ungrateful and have just wanted everything to be perfect. But it's okay that it's not. It will be for my good. I just need to keep on breathing :)