Happy April!

Conference was amazing! I loved it. It was not necessarily everything I was expecting and it didn't answer all my questions about my future, but I realized that it didn't need to. I realized that what it did do was much more important. "And what is that?" you may ask. It gave me direction for how I need to improve myself, what I need to work on, how I need to become better, and that is the most important for me. I have been struggling lately with not feeling things. I know a lot of things in my head, but it has been a while since I have felt the way I want to feel. But I realized something this past week. It started out in my New Testament class when we read this scripture:

"From that time many of his disciples went back, and walked no more with him. Then Jesus said unto the twelve, Will ye also go away? Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life. And we believe and are sure that thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God" (John 6:67-69).

This interchange occurred just after Jesus had given a sermon about His death, resurrection, and the Sacrament. It was "an hard saying" and offended many. However, the apostles did not "go away," because although they did not understand very much yet about Christ's true identity and mission they did know that He had the words of eternal life and that He was the Son of God.

Sometimes in life we will be dished "hard sayings" and we may not understand why or how we will get through them. But I know that never will I be able to fall away because I know and am sure that my Savior lives, that He loves me, and that He truly is the Son of God.

I also was reminded of the whole principle of faith. Ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith. Living the gospel is not going to be, to quote Chelle, "Peaches and Cream" all the time :) You may not necessarily want to do the things you know you should. You may not feel a constant burning testimony all the time. But you can be continually building that unshakable faith that President Henry B. Eyring talked about in his conference talk during the Saturday morning session. That faith is not built by seeing miracles every week or by having amazing spiritual experiences all day long. Instead it is built by integrity, by consistently choosing right.

In essence, I realized that I can't give up trying because I don't feel the desire constantly. I need to make that commitment to always follow the Savior, no matter what, and then, after the trial of my faith, I will receive the witness that I desire.

I know that my Savior, Jesus Christ lives! I know that my Heavenly Father is aware of my needs. They have promised that they will not leave me comfortless, and I believe that! Sometimes we push them away so that we cannot feel their love, but that is because we are not allowing them in, not because they are not there knocking at the door. I hope you all enjoyed conference and if you weren't able to watch it, I highly recommend taking the time to do so. It will change your life.

I've missed blogging! I just spent a few hours perusing the blogs that I fell behind in reading ;) You may not have missed me, but I definitely missed reading about all the amazing people I know and learning from your examples ;) Have a fabulous evening!