Carpe diem

I've been in a pretty ornery mood today. I'm not really sure why. I didn't get a ton of sleep last night, but that's not unusual for me. I also had a super fun day yesterday hiking the narrows down at Zion National Park. What a beautiful place.

It may have to do with the fact that my foot has still not healed. My ankle isn't quite as swollen as it was yesterday, but my foot hurts worse when I walk on it.

It may have to do with the fact that school is over and I am really sad my classes are done. I LOVED this Spring term.

But mostly I think it has to do with the fact that I'm lonely. I loved going to Zion's yesterday. It was fun, and beautiful, and an awesome hike. There was just one downer. I went with a group that consisted of my best friend, her boyfriend, her younger brother, and his girlfriend. I kinda felt like the odd man out. (Sitting in a car next to two in love, quite young high school students for four hours up and back can be a little hilarious). I've been in one of those bad phases where I'm regretting my dating decisions. I think it's because my two best friends now have bf's and I don't. In reminding myself why I didn't have a boyfriend and remembering how I'm glad that I didn't date any of the last 3 boys that wanted to date me, I found myself singing the song "Jar of Hearts" by Christina Perry. I love this song. It kind of got ruined for me though when my Mom remarked after a verse that "that's probably how all those boys think of you." Ouch. Maybe I should just stop going on dates?

Another reason why I'm a little bit cranky is because I am stressed about what is going to happen in my life over the next year. I could go on a mission after fall semester. I could not go on a mission, finish school, graduate, take the NCLEX and then start looking for a job. I could graduate, take the NCLEX, and then go on a mission. I could not finish my GE's to prolong my college experience and apply for the Jerusalem Center. Other thoughts on my mind lately: should I move out of the house for fall? Would that help my lack of interest in boys? Should I try out for the dance team? Should I buy a car? etc. etc. etc.

HOWEVER. when I was talking to my Mission Prep teacher about all of my stressful decisions I'm trying to make he reminded me that I should be so grateful to have all of these opportunities. "Carpe diem," he told me. And I want to do that better. I have a beautiful life! I have wonderful friends (even if they do desert me for boys). I have so many amazing opportunities ahead of me, all of which are wonderful choices. I have fun plans for this summer. Most importantly, I have the gospel of Jesus Christ. So I am going to stop complaining and start finding the fun, happy things in all the things that are stressing me out.

Now is the time to seize the day!