So, I am trying to debate if I should send this email or not. It would put me in a super vulnerable position. I've realized the past few weeks that that is something that I haven't done for a very long time. Put myself in a vulnerable position, that is. I hate being there. I hate feeling dumb. If I put myself out there and show interest in someone, I feel so stupid! If they don't return the feeling I feel like I would like to die. Or just crawl away into a hole and never see that person again in my life.
However...I've also realized that, in order to keep myself 'safe,' I think I've stopped myself from liking boys. Because if I like them, I'm open to them not liking me and then feeling like an idiot. That kind of presents a problem to my dating life. Whoops.
But, I'm pretty sure that I am going a mission anyways, so I guess it doesn't really matter what I do with my dating life for the next few months anyways, right? :)
On the other hand, it never hurts to put yourself out there. Oh wait... YES IT DOES! But that doesn't mean it's not good for me. It would give me good experience and help me overcome my ridiculous fear/anxiety about dating.
On the other hand... THERE IS NO OTHER HAND! haha, just kidding. I just wanted to quote that since I just watched that video. What a sad part to that movie....
Anyways, what do you think? Am I crazy or am I crazy?
4 comments:
You're not crazy. Sending that email would be great practice in being open and honest. A perfect position, albeit a vulnerable one, that you want to be in. Allows you to be yourself from the get-go. If it goes bad, it could be embarrassing, but those experiences make the best stories! Just think to yourself, "This will make a great story!" :) And we need those kind of stories to laugh about when we're with others. I, for one, am looking forward to a great story -- either way it turns out. ;) As for the mission and whether it matters what you do with dating -- it does matter because dating and your experiences with others always change or refine you. They don't all end in marriage (thank goodness)so don't start out with worrying with where this relationship will go. Enjoy the ride and be surprised. Love and miss ya and our late-night talks with babies. :)
WAIT?! when did you decide to go on a mission?? that is exciting! have fun in boise!
I don't know what that e-mail will say, but I say SEND IT! you and I will be out of here in a few months so let's just give it our all until then! :)
I sent it :)
Beka-I basically just decided about a week ago. So I'm still getting used to the idea of going for sure :)
Jen-I miss you guys too! And it'll def be an interesting story (when he decides to ever reply...:) Love you!
Laura-I agree. It is sent. And we'll see what happens :)
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