I was patient, dancesport, and lessons

I just sent an email to my Stake President's secretary. I was patient for 4 whole days. I figured that was adequate :) I hope hope hope that if it is right, I will be able to get my papers turned in this Sunday. I would love that. But I also know that timing is a very important issue and that I need to be willing to submit to God's timing. I haven't been too good at that in my life so far. Perhaps I need a few more weeks to move on from my relationship and really prepare myself for the Temple and for dedicating a whole year and a half entirely to the Lord. Or perhaps it doesn't matter and I can get my call in two more weeks. Or perhaps it doesn't really matter and my Stake President is out of town and I won't be able to get my interview done for a while. Whatever the case, I am trying to be patient.

I compete in dancesport tomorrow. I'm rather nervous. I feel like all my technique went out the window since Tuesday. I actually felt like I was doing really well on Tuesday. Not anymore! Oh well. As long as I smile, have fun (and show it!) and have mountains of energy I should get past at least one cut. I would love to place. But I would be super happy to make it to semi finals, and I would be content to make it past one cut.  We'll see :) My calves are so dang sore. And my foot still hurts a lot. But after this I can calm down my physical exercise and hopefully let my foot heal all the way.

I've learned a lot about myself in the last week (it's been one week since Taylor and I broke up, just so ya know). I have been able to see clearly things I do that increase my loneliness or sadness, and things that I need to do to stay happy. I need to be so very careful not to get into self-pity ruts. Those are the worst. I've really really missed having someone to talk to who really cares about how I'm doing and who actually will listen to the things I have to say. I was talking to Dan the other day and he was kind of poking fun at the fact that most girls like to be listened to (it was quite the funny conversation actually. I learned that boys zone out really fast and it's not unlikely that one of my guy friends may have been pretending to listen when really he was thinking 'what the heck is she talking about?' haha). I completely concede with the stereotype that girl's like to be listened to. I love when people sincerely, genuinely want to know how I'm feeling. Today I just wanted so badly for someone to ask me how I was doing and really listen. I was frustrated, discouraged, and rather scared of the future. But no one did. But you know what? It was okay. I just thought about it for a while, realized that I didn't need someone to validate my feelings or encourage me, and kept working. It worked really well actually. I hope that I will grow closer to my Heavenly Father through this experience, knowing that He is always willing and desirous to listen to my ramblings, my frustrations, and my fears.

I've also learned that it makes me happy when I hear about couples who broke up lots before they got married. Somehow it makes me feel better.

But now I need to go to bed. Thanks for reading. It was a therapeutic post. haha psych is infiltrating my life!