Prayers.

I love the gift of prayer. I love being able to talk to my Heavenly Father and know that He is listening. I love knowing that He understands me.

Prayer was a part of my life as long as I can remember, but it became especially meaningful to me when I was a teenager. I needed prayer. I needed to know that I was loved and accepted by my Father in Heaven. And prayer provided that knowledge. I would come home from an event, feeling very lonely and upset, not knowing why I never fit in, why I always felt awkward. But as I would pour out my heart to my Heavenly Father I would be encompassed by His love. And I knew that I was His daughter.

However, I had a real struggle with receiving answers to prayers when I needed to make a decision. An event in my life made me really question what I believed about God answering my prayers. I was frustrated. I knew He did, but I couldn't explain my lack of an answer. It ate at me and festered for months. And then a friend bore a marvelous testimony to me of the power of prayer and I realized that I wanted to believe. I still don't fully understand why I did not get more direction when I wanted it, but over time I have realized more and more why I needed to make that decision on my own, why I needed to go through that process and that pain. I do know that when I need an answer to a prayer, I will receive it. Sometimes it may not come when I think I need it, and sometimes I need to make a decision on my own, but when God knows I need it, it will come.

Yesterday I was blessed with a reminder of the power of prayer. I had a really rough day on Wednesday. I was whiny and angry and lonely and upset. I didn't know how to change my attitude. The more I realized how whiny and immature I was being, the more whiny and immature I acted. It was a horrid cycle. I got home late and realized that I just needed help. So I prayed. And yesterday my prayer was answered. I don't know how, or why, or what exactly, but my feelings changed. I'm not angry anymore. I'm at peace with what happened.

I am so excited to testify to the people in Long Beach California about the power of prayer. I know God hears me. He understands me perfectly and knows exactly what I need. And that is a beautiful thing.