Thursday, April 19, 2012

The dating game

I've decided that one of the most counter intuitive, really obnoxious, completely bothersome things in life is the dating game. But no matter how hard I try to not "play" this game, I inevitably fail. It is so ingrained into me that I don't know how to get out of it.

Currently I am referring to this silly phenomenon of the "hard to get" aspect of dating. When I like a boy and he ends up not showing as much interest as I would want, he immediately becomes more desirable to me. You always want what you can't get. However, the opposite is also true. If I am slightly interested in someone, willing to see where it goes, and it becomes apparent that he is much more interested than I am, or he makes it obvious that he likes me a lot. my interest in him automatically decreases. This is rather puzzling to me because I honestly don't know how I'll ever get married if this remains the case.

How do you evade this crazy cycle? Once upon a time (okay, quite a few times) there was a boy that I rather liked, and because I liked him I was always awkward around him. And because I was always awkward around him, it was obvious that I liked him. While I'm sure it's not the only reason, I think my obsession was so completely unattractive that he lost any interest he may once have had.

Prime example: There was a boy in my ward who I met once at ward prayer and I was very impressed with him. However, he was super "cool" and I had no hope of really getting to be his friend because I wasn't really at his level. And then a shocking event occurred. He got my number from the ward list and called me out of the blue to ask me on this super nice, really fun date. Boy was I flattered! The date was great except I was really awkward like I've been describing. However, something even more unimaginable happened. He asked me out for the next weekend! Haha, and then the next. Three dates in 3 weeks. I was attracted to him, and it was obvious. However, something not quite as obvious was my uncertainty of how much I liked him. Until he lost interest and stopped asking me out. Oh man, then I liked him a whole bunch. And I made that too obvious as well (very unintentionally, but I was really bad at hiding it--I hope my mask-your-emotions skills have increased since then). Anyways... the point of this story is this: I feel like because I made it very obvious that I was interested, and because I was shy and nervous and awkward because I was interested, he became uninterested. But when I go on dates with boys that I haven't placed in a "you're way too cool for me" category yet, I'm so much more myself and it usually turns out that they like me a lot more then I like them. And oh! how I wish I could remake the impression those other boys have of me. I think of it a lot when I see them every day in the library during finals week. I think this every time: "Please just think I'm at least a tiny bit attractive again, k? I know you thought it once, and I did something to ruin it. I don't want to date you, I just want your good opinion!"

Now I'm sounding like Elizabeth Bennett...

*View from 4:50 on....


Or copy and paste ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Hw97LpMTOOg#t=296s

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